Four Teaspoons of Cereal in My Sock Drawer (Pop-Punk Bounce)

[Verse 1] I put my phone in the fridge Told my toaster “you’re my bro” Fed my plant some orange juice Screamed “why you still don’t grow?” (grow!) Lost my keys in the bathtub Found my jeans on the front yard fence Tried to microwave a salad Said “this all makes perfect sense” [Chorus] I’m not high I’m just stupid Why’s the sofa doing jazz hands Man? Who gave the lamp my debit card Who taught the fridge to join a band? (hey!) Four teaspoons of cereal In my sock drawer every night Brain cells taking PTO You can’t prove I’m not all right [Verse 2] Took a nap on the dishwasher Used a pizza box as a hat Asked my goldfish for directions He said “bro I’m worse than that” Sent an email to my pillow CC’d every snack I own Ordered ride share to the bathroom Then complained they took me home [Chorus] I’m not high I’m just stupid Why’s the mailbox doing yoga Dude? Arguing with my reflection ‘Bout who finished all the food (who did it?) Four teaspoons of cereal In my sock drawer every night If common sense was GPS I’d still take a left at “not too bright” [Bridge] [Half-time Crowd chant] One shoe on Wrong way Gone Brain says “wait” Feet say “nah” (nah!) If nonsense had a president I’d be in the motorcade car [Chorus] I’m not high I’m just stupid Why’s the blender trying to pick a fight? Wrote a love song to my wallet It still left me out of spite Four teaspoons of cereal In my sock drawer every night Doctor asked “what seems to be the issue?” I said “bro My house can bite” (chomp!) [Verse 1] Teacher said “where’s your essay?” I said “you’re not gonna like this tale” Grandma hit my USB Thought it was a snack on sale She’s in class on her scooter Wearing three pairs of shades Says “back in my day we had vibes But we never had lemonade grapes” (what?) [Chorus] Grandma just vaped my homework (oh no) Now she’s tutoring all my friends Giving life advice in slow-mo “Stay hydrated Don’t date Kens” She’s explaining quantum physics To a very confused school cop Grandma just vaped my homework And now the principal can’t stop the drop (drop, drop) [Verse 2] She’s in the cafeteria breakdancing To the sound of the fire alarm Painting locker doors with ketchup Saying “art comes from the heart My charm” She thinks the nurse is a DJ Keeps requesting bingo songs Signed my late slip with a recipe “Add more garlic You can’t go wrong” [Chorus] Grandma just vaped my homework Now my F turned into “vibe” She submitted fanfic to the textbook About a dinosaur paying bribes She’s live-streaming from detention Eating pudding with a chopstick prop Grandma just vaped my homework And now the school mascot can’t stop the drop (drop it, eagle!) [Bridge] [Beat filters out Almost acapella] Teacher’s like “are you serious?” Grandma’s like “yeah I’m curious” “Is this TikTok or is this math?” I’m like “both It’s a collab” She winks Says “class dismissed” Principal faints in slow rotation Grandma got tenure somehow Welcome to her weird vacation [Chorus] Grandma just vaped my homework Got the hall pass signed in glitter Gave the counselor a mixtape Called “Songs To Email Your Sitter